


Darkest Nights

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, a little angsty, but cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 01:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The slight tremor in her voice was a dead giveaway, and it made him uneasy. It was a little, scary reminder that no matter the years that went past, the battles they’ve won, sometimes even the toughest soldiers need the comfort of an embrace. It reminded him that even if only in the dark of the night and behind closed doors, they were allowed to be who they really were and not who everyone expected them to be."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkest Nights

**Author's Note:**

> I can't get enough of these two.  
> Enjoy! <3

Even without her glasses on, Hanji’s eyes could still recognise the rise and fall of Levi’s chest. She could still make out the contours of his muscles, even in the dark of the night, but that was probably because her five senses had made a wonderful job learning everything about his body. She didn’t only see him when she looked at him; she could also feel him, hear him, taste him, and smell him.

It was a slow night, a quiet night; there was no moon outside, either. Suddenly, she was beginning to feel like she was the only living being left in the world.

A shaky breath left her lips as she scooted closer to Levi’s body beside her, to make sure that the mechanics of his breathing weren’t just her imagination; to make sure that he was still warm, and so, alive.

She pressed her face against Levi’s shoulder and breathed him in, and she couldn’t help but sigh in relief as she placed the palm of her hand just above his heart.

Hanji felt like a scared kid once again, and she knew it was just the silence and the dark playing tricks with her mind; bringing back and forth the faces of the people the titans had taken away from her, her own family, her friends; thinking ‘that could have been me’, ‘that could have been him’, ‘that could have been anybody else, so why?’

She traced the tip of her finger over an old scar on Levi’s chest, a painful reminder that they were still unbeaten, but that they would only remain unbeaten as long as they fought back. She sighed against Levi’s shoulder, eyes shutting close.

“Levi.” Her voice was husky and dry, and the sound of it came muffled against Levi’s skin.

But he had heard her. He always heard her, even if he didn’t always listen.

The night was dark and restless for him as well, the steady tempo of his breathing nothing but an act to convince himself that he could and would be able to fall asleep. He didn’t say anything to her, though.

Hanji cleared her throat softly before insisting once again, her voice a soft whisper that pierced through the silence of the room. “Levi.” She pressed her lips against his shoulder, coaxing him to say something, anything to her. She already knew he was awake. After calling his name the first time, she felt the rhythm of his heart and his breath falter beneath her hand.

He sighed, realising that she wouldn’t leave him be. The slight tremor in her voice was a dead giveaway, and it made him uneasy. It was a scary reminder that no matter the years that went past, the battles they’ve won, sometimes even the toughest soldiers need the comfort of an embrace. It reminded him that even if only in the dark of the night and behind closed doors, they were allowed to be who they really were and not who everyone expected them to be.

“What?” The softness and calmness in his own voice came as a surprise to him, and it spread warmth all over Hanji’s body. “I can’t… I can’t sleep…”

She felt Levi hum under the palm of her hand, the vibrations pleasant to her skin. Then he spoke again, and his voice came as a whisper that made all of her insecurities feel silly and useless. “It’s been hours since you went to bed and you are only realising now that you can’t sleep? What an idiot.” Suddenly, his rough fingers were on her hair, taking her by surprise and causing her to flinch, but a fraction of a second later she sighed heavily and nodded, leaning in against the hand on her hair. “I know… I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep—”

“Shh, shut up.” His fingers threaded through her hair gently, soothingly, from the crown of her head to the strands that framed her face. She ran her hand from the place it had conquered above his heart to his neck, sliding to the spot where his shoulder meets his neck and where her own fingers found his hair. She stroke the nape of his neck carefully, irrationally fearing that if, like titans, human life concentrated on that spot, she might hurt him.

“You couldn’t sleep either, could you?” She was beginning to feel at peace, slowly but surely. Not many would believe it if they told him that, to her, Levi was warmer than the sun. She opened her eyes and tried looking up at him, even if the dark and her bad eyesight turned something so simple into something difficult. With her head on his shoulder she felt smaller next to him, she felt safe.

“I couldn’t.” She pouted her lower lip at that, suddenly feeling selfish. She gently stroked his jaw and leaned over his shoulder so she could place a kiss to his cheek. “Oh, love… You should have said something before.”

She felt him shake his head softly. “There isn’t much you could have done, anyway… I also woke up a little while ago, all of a sudden. Don’t worry.”

“Who will if I don’t?”

She had a point. Being the only one who got to see this side of him meant that she was also the only one allowed to genuinely worry over him. He felt her hand over his chest again. “Come on, turn around.” He felt Hanji trying to bring him closer with her hand, so he turned around on his side to be facing at her. Levi opened his eyes when he felt Hanji’s own fixated upon him, and the familiar sight of Hanji’s glasses-less face, framed by her dark hair, and in a thousand different shades of dark made his breath falter.

He placed his hand on her cheek, and she kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry for bothering you like this… I feel so stupid now, but before… I felt… I don’t know; I felt a million different things. Lonely, afraid, guilty…” He hummed as he closed his eyes once again, her lips still pressed against his forehead even as she spoke. “Sometimes I forget how big our mission is and all the people that were once with us, not so long ago… Don’t you ever think ‘wow, that could have been me’?”

“I try not to. If I did, I’d go insane.” Both of their voices were as soft in the air as their lips and hands were on each other, as if fearing they might wake up from this moment of peace and quiet to the cruel reality of an open field stained with their comrades’ blood.

“So do I. But I guess I have my limit…” Her arms snaked around him, then, slowly but firmly, and she moved lower to be able to press her face against his neck. She stayed still for a few moments before breathing in his scent once again, filling her lungs with her favourite thing in the world. When she breathed out, it was in the form of a shaky sigh. “I don’t want to lose you, Levi.”

He was slightly taken aback by her words. Their lack of time and important positions in the Scouting Legion granted them little to no time to speak their minds and hearts to other people, but that didn’t mean they didn’t feel anything for them. Hanji and he had a way of doing just fine without voicing out too many important pieces of their minds; words could mark their spirits deeper than titan teeth could cut through their skin, and the eventual loss of the person who had thoughtlessly pronounced such beautiful words would leave an unfixable fissure in their souls. It was better not to say much than to condemn each other.

But the night was so dark, lonely and quiet, it would be a sin not to say anything to the woman he had wrapped his own arms around. Levi tucked his chin over Hanji’s head, trying to remember every nice word he had ever heard, but feeling the horrible sensation that nothing he could say would be enough to calm their spirits for good. His voice came meek and shaky, but he didn’t really feel embarrassed at this display of weakness. “I don’t want to lose you, either… But, you know… I am certain that you aren’t going to die off easily.”

He heard her snort in bitter amusement, but he was sure he could feel a slight wetness against his neck. “I won’t let them.” She sniffed and sighed. “I’m sorry, I really am. I don’t know what happened to me…”

“It’s alright, Han. You’re a human, not some kind of hyperkinetic automata…” It was his turn to kiss Hanji’s forehead now, and Hanji could have sworn she felt him nuzzle the top of her head. That made her lips curve into a little smile.

“I know that. Still, it sucks to feel weak…” They remained in silence for a long while, their steading breaths and heartbeats being the only sound in the room. It was Hanji who broke the silence again, her voice soft against his neck. “You know you don’t have to keep it together all the time either, right, Levi?”

It took him so long to answer, Hanji thought for a second he had fallen asleep, despite the fact his breath still hadn’t steadied completely. “I need to be reminded… “

Levi traced his hand through Hanji’s loose hair, enjoying the feel of it despite its dryness. Hanji hummed softly at that. “I could be the one to remind you, for the rest of my life… I wouldn’t mind, you know? In fact… I think I would like it…”

“You already do.”

She smiled, then, from the bottom of her heart. When morning came they wouldn’t talk about any of this and they would jump right back into their hectic lives in the Scouting Legion.

But maybe that was what made moments like this so valuable.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, my fanfics will always be set in my own personal headcanon, where Levi and Hanji are actually together <3
> 
> Thank you very much for reading!


End file.
